Saturday, 4 January 2014

Is Crochet the new killer?

Well well well.

Who knew I had chosen such a dangerous hobby to take up as one of my New Years Resolutions.

Before I head off to the library to find myself a book on learning to crochet I thought I would arm myself with the tools of the trade.

Lots of bits of left over wool from my Mum and I was off to buy my first crochet hook.

Not as easy as you might think!!

Mr H and I were out for a mooch without the little H's and decided to call in at Dunelm Mill for a mosey around.

They have a haberdashery section and I selected what seemed to be a 'medium' sized crochet hook having been advised by my Mum not to get one 'too fat - or too thin'.

I felt a sense of accomplishment - this was my first step towards achieving one of my new years resolutions.

We queued up to pay and I handed it over.

Do you have ID?

Me - "I'm sorry. ID?

Sales Assistant - "Yes, I need photo ID to be able to sell this to you"

Me - "Huh?"

Sales Assistant - "do you have a driving licence with you?"

Me - "for a crochet hook?"

Sales Assistant - "Yes - I need proof that you're over 25"

Me - "Are you kidding me? It's a crochet hook and I haven't got any ID on me. Just my credit cards which prove I'm over 18 and my face which clearly shows I am over 25.  I'm 33 for gods sake"

Sales Assistant - "I'm sorry - I can't sell it to you without ID".

Mr H and I left empty handed, thoroughly baffled, slightly bemused and a teensy bit shocked that apparently crocheting is such a dangerous pastime that you need to be of a certain age in order to take it up!

Crochet hooks - the weapon of choice?

Have I missed a spate of crimes where the main weapon has been a No.4 Crochet Hook?

I remain baffled about what damage I could do to another individual with a crochet hook that I couldn't achieve with, say, a pen....or a stick.

Please don't tell me next time I need to buy a Biro I'm going to have to take my passport and utility bills with me to W H Smiths?!

Was it April 1st - was this a prank?  Sadly no.

Perhaps I'm not destined to learn.  Maybe Crochet Hooks have to be bequeathed to you by a loved one. It is a skill which must pass via the generations.  Have I missed my opportunity to learn?

With slight trepidation we headed off and called in at my favourite shop (and Mr H's least favourite shop) Hobbycraft.

I gingerly approached the till with my crochet hook in hand (subtly covered by many other items which I needed) and I covertly checked around me for a sting operation in case I had been reported to the police for attempting to purchase a dangerous weapon.  I placed down my goods - they were scanned and I paid.


I am now the proud owner of my VERY OWN CROCHET HOOK.

I have no plans to use it as a weapon.

Dunelm Mill - you are idiots!  There are occasions that common sense must come into play and this was one of them.

Hobbycraft - I love you - very much (big sloppy kisses to YOU!)

*skips off to library to find a book on what to do with this hook thing*

Bex x

1 comment:

  1. Def a comment to post elsewhere too - have a look at mumsnet "Things you'd like to say to the retail bosses". Alternative would be to break down in tears at the check-out because you need to urgently crochet a blanket for your relative who has terminal hypothermia - until the operator feels it's outside his/her skill remit and calls for supervisor (who may have far more impressive decision making abilities). On the plus side - you obviously don't have any age-related appearance issues. Maybe the Dumelf operator was flirting!