Thursday, 1 August 2013

The Silver Birch and its master plan

We are fortunate enough to have a beautiful Silver birch tree in our garden.

This beautiful tree provides us with soft, dappled shade in the summer and looks picturesque with snow capped branches in the winter.

However - I believe it has a master plan.

Our Silver Birch is making an attempt on WORLD DOMINATION! (mwa ha ha - evil laugh)


Each July/August we are swamped with its teeny tiny seeds blowing in from the garden as it attempts to 'sow its wild oats'.  If you so much as leave a window open on a vent these pesky little blighters still find their way in.

Currently you will find Silver Birch seeds in our bath, on the toilet, in the toilet, in our bed, on all window cills, covering the kitchen floor and probably floating in my cuppa next to me.

I can sweep the kitchen 20 times a day and still have a huge pile that have crept in.

I realise that a tree is kind of lacking in purpose in its life.  Its sole aim is to re-produce.  And each summer my sole aim is to rid my house of these seeds.

Now, if these things are annoying to me, the owner of the tree, I dread to think what my neighbours think about it.  I'm sure there are general mutterings and gripings about it.



"Darling, you seem to have some rather large bits of dandruff"
"No, its the bloody tree moulting again!"


Once the 'seed season' is over we have a few months where we get along quite nicely.  Me appreciating its majestic size and beauty while it sits over us providing us with shade (and generally killing off the lawn underneath it with its enormous roots).

Then we reach catkin season.  Instead of tiny seeds infiltrating our home we now have to deal with catkins.

Folk lore says that the birch helps to ward off evil spirits and is also that it is the tree of venus.  So, as long as our tree continues to keep us safe and we are surrounded by a love-fest then we will have to continue our love/hate relationship with each other.

The seeds have a tendency to stick in the cobwebs inside the house so perhaps it is just the worlds way of showing me the areas I need to dust more.